Renvoi
by Elphin
Summary: Sirius Black demonstrates that he loves Remus Lupin more than anything by giving him the one thing he wants. A temporary cure for his affliction. Warning: Contains SLASH, SR.


**Disclaimer: **The characters and ideas used in this story all belong to J.K Rowling, her publishers and so on. I'm not making any money off of this and no infringement is intended.

**A/N: **I decided to write this after seeing an interesting scene in the movie, The Prisoner of Azkaban. It's near the end when Remus is transforming and Sirius is hugging him. It caused me to think. Also the title is rather irrelevant and it's french but I like the sound of the word. Enjoy, and leave a little review if you have the time. 

**Warnings: **This story contains **_SLASH_** which is two males being in love. So if this idea squicks you in anyway I would advise that you turn back. I've made it quite clear so any flames will be ignored. There's also some sap for those who don't like it. 

_**Renvoi**_

By: Elphin

Remus and I have always been connected. From the moment I saw him on our first trip to Hogwarts I've felt it. He stood there, timidly outside of platforms nine and ten, looking lost. He was alone which was strange. Most wizards-to-be going to Hogwarts for the first time had a guardian accompany them to the train. Even muggle-born parents payed their farewells outside of the gateway, while a wizard of some sorts gave direction. Maybe that's why I noticed him. But no, there was something doubly unusual about him that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

I, myself had the pleasure of my parents accompanying me. Pleasure? Hah! They stood beside me, their faces etched with stony disapproval of the wizards surrounding them. My mum dressed in her regal deep violet, muggle business suit and my father in similar attire. Both of them detested the clothes on their backs and it was only with great reluctance did they agree to come at all. Not that I was the one who convinced them. My great-uncle Alphard insisted and eventually they gave in to his badgering. He somehow had the notion that one day we would be a happy family.

So after saying a stiff goodbye and my mother had pulled me into an abrupt hug for show, I headed over to the boy. He was studying the scarlet brick anxiously and started when I stood in front of him.

"Hi." I said, holding out a hand and ignoring the penetrating stares of my parents.

"H-Hello." He said shyly.

"My name is Sirius Black." I grinned at him.

"Remus Lupin."

I stalled for conversation. He was gazing at the ground and that made me nervous. I was used to sociable people. Not that I minded meeting someone quiet, mind you. After all I had spent all of eleven years being surrounded by people who were more interested in discussing the purity of blood than having an actual human conversation.

"You look lost." I finally said. "Do you know how to get onto the platform?"

He looked relieved. "No. I don't know much about Hogwarts."

"Where are you parents?" I asked. Being subtle was never one of my strong points.

"They . . . they couldn't make it. Mum had to work." Remus said.

I instantly knew there was more to the story but for once I quelled down my curiosity. "Well, come on then. This is what you have to do."

And from that moment on we were friends. I introduced him to James, who I had known ever since childhood. My parents had okayed our friendship, knowing that James was from a pure blood family. Eventually we met Peter who was even more helpless than Remus. Of course, Remus was never helpless. He just appeared that way on a first glance.

We spent our first two years happily enjoying our new home. James and I caught on automatically. We rarely looked at a book, but somehow we were the tops of our class. I guess we were just plain, audible learners. Remus was intelligent as well although his came a bit more from study and work. Peter was just really dense. But we helped him a long as much as we could and he did all right for himself.

By the second year our suspicions were raised. Remus made monthly trips home, telling us that his mother was ill. By our third year it was a tired excuse and I was the first one to voice doubt. We never mentioned to Remus what we suspected until there was proof. The three of us searched night and day in the library until we found a book titled _Lycanthropy and Its Effect on The Average Wizard. _

Eventually all the signs turned to lycanthropy and we confronted him. It was James who told him. He looked stricken, his face turning different shades of white. There was no denying the facts, however. He admitted it all to us and we promised to be there for him. Peter was hesitant at first but a disgusted look from James quickly changed that.

Simply being there for him came to be unsatisfactory for me. Maybe it was then my feelings had changed. I'll never quite know the first time I looked at him and knew. So, after some research, I proposed the Animagus idea. James was enthusiastic from the beginning. Peter refused at first but once we said we would go ahead with it anyway he was on board.

It took James and I an exact total of seven hundred and fifty-two days to complete the process. The three of us surprised Remus with our discovery. And after that, every month the four of us pranced around the grounds with boosted egos. It was the first time Remus was truly happy I think. Or maybe that began in our seventh year.

It was then that my feelings became overwhelming. I never said anything for the longest time which was hard for me but I knew the consequences could be dire. My family would never accept it. Not only was Remus a bloke, but he also came from a mixed family. Not to mention they were poor. The two things my parents hated the most. But that was the last thing I was worried about. The thought of losing Remus, of disgusting him, was what I couldn't bear. So I kept it inside.

That is until one night he approached me. We had gone to the room of requirement for a few snacks We had been banned from the kitchens by a crazed house elf named Ully. And we were alone. James and Peter were engulfed in a game of wizards' chess with Lily being a cheerleader for her boyfriend. He kept flashing me quick looks until I spoke up and asked him if something was up.

"Sirius . . . " He said, his gaze now longing. "I think I have a crush on you."

The sentence was so very Remus. I didn't recover for a few minutes and Remus took that to mean I didn't feel the same way. He took to staring intently at the pumpkin pastry he was clenching tightly in his hand.

"Remus . . . " I said, once I had fully comprehended what he said. "I think I love you."

He stared at me for a few minutes which caused me to laugh. I immediately crawled over to him and kissed him. It was an awkward movement. Remus had no experience and despite my reputation for being a 'ladies man', neither did I. It was perfect all the same. It was soft and lasted only a few seconds. Once we pulled apart, he looked at me and said "I love you too."

James and Peter were the first to know. James was happy for us and surprisingly Peter was all right with it. Eventually we couldn't hide it anymore and came out officially to the rest of the world. By that time I had left my parent's house so they posed no threat. Remus's parents, as I eventually learned, wanted nothing to do with him. They neglected him because of his bite and he stayed with an aunt during the holidays. Most people accepted it after awhile, with the exception of the Slytherin house but that was to be expected. Nor did we stress about it. Snape was beside himself. I even heard that he had appealed to Dumbledore about disallowing it.

Things changed on one night of the full moon. Snape had been particularly snide that day and I relished getting a chance to have a go at him. I was late getting down to the shack due to an overload of Charms homework and I saw the greasy-haired git lurking around the edge of the forest. I knew without a doubt he was trying to find out what was going on with us and my impulsive nature took over. I jogged down toward him.

"Hey, Snivellus" I called. "What in the hell are _you_ doing down here."

He smirked at me. "I think the same can be asked of you, Black."

"None of your business." I retorted. I was waiting for him to say something concerning Remus so I could lash out.

"What is your boyfriend up to tonight?" Snape asked, saying the word boyfriend as if it was a disgusting bit of slime.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"I'm interested." He replied scathingly.

"Poke the knot behind the Whomping Willow and you'll see exactly what he's up to." I blurted out, unthinking.

He dashed off and I instantly realized what I had done. I hoped against home that James and Peter were still walking down the tunnel. That notion was soon dashed when I heard the brush of grass behind me and turned to see James the stag cantering toward me. He transformed back once he stopped running and brushed himself off.

"Finally here, Padfoot." He said, grinning at me.

"Why aren't you and Peter down in the shack?" I asked in horror.

"Remus was late in transforming so we figured we'd go for an extra jaunt around the school. Sirius, what's wrong?" He asked, finally noting my expression.

"I just told Snape how to get into the shack!" I exclaimed hoarsely.

At first he looked like he was about to laugh probably thinking it was a joke. After all, we were famous for our pranks and they often landed on each other. But then it changed. He looked scary for a moment, anger etching every line of his face.

"You did what?" He said, his voice flat but somehow aghast at the same time.

He didn't bother waiting for my response. He followed Snape's tracks toward the tree while I just stood there. I couldn't move. I was so distraught that I couldn't bring myself to go after him. I had killed someone. No . . . I had done worse. I had caused Remus to kill someone. There was no way James could reach Severus on time

I'll never forget the days following the incident. James had managed to get Snape out but not before Snape had glimpsed Mooney. The three of us were called to Dumbledore's office the next morning. Snape and I were both reprimanded, while James was thanked. Albus warned Snape not to divulge Remus's secret, which Snape promised to do very reluctantly. The secret was sealed with a charm.

I got in the most trouble out of the two of us. I was granted a month's worth of detentions and expelled of any further trips to Hogsmeade that year. I was grateful I had not been expelled. I knew it was what I deserved. But the worst came when I confronted Remus for the first time. He was released from the hospital wing three days later. Neither James nor Peter had spoken to me since our visit to the headmaster's office.

I was sitting on my bed in the empty dormitory when Remus walked in. He stood stationary by the bed post for a few minutes. I could not look at him. All the traditional Gryffindor bravery was gone. I had tried to prepare for this moment but when the time came I was lost. He walked straight toward me and hit me. I recoiled, feeling the sting of his hand. The sting of his hatred.

We didn't speak for months after that. It was a depressing time. I couldn't concentrate on classes anymore. Every lesson I went into I could only stare at Remus. James was talking to me although still in a very stiff manor. He and Peter stuck with Remus and I was left to my own devices. Lily sometimes took pity on me and sat with me in the common room. She was bound to James though so that wasn't often.

On the night of the next full moon I decided it was time for a change. Remus was nowhere in sight so I approached James and Peter.

"James, I need to ask you a favor." I said, my eyes pleading with him.

He sighed. "What is it, Sirius?"

"I need to go down and talk to Remus. Could you guys hold off on going to the shack tonight?"

Peter simply glared at me. James looked undecided. I couldn't bear the silence.

"Please?" I asked, quietly.

James took another look at my face and nodded. I stood there for a few minutes. Then I couldn't hold myself back any longer and dashed toward him, flinging my arms around his neck. His body was rigid with shock for a second but he soon relaxed into the embrace. I didn't care that the entire common room was staring at me.

"I never meant to hurt anyone." I told them when we parted. "These months have been hell for me. Can I ever convince you guys to forgive me?"

"Sirius, I think we already have. Now you have to fix things with Remus."

And for the first time in too long he smiled at me, genuinely. I felt as if happiness would explode in the pit of my stomach. It was the best feeling in the world. And for the first time I felt that maybe, just maybe, I could convince Remus too.

"Good luck." Peter said, and smiled at me as well.

"I love you guys!" I burst out happily and dashed toward the portrait. I could hear them chuckling behind me.

I swear it was the fastest I've ever run. I was to the tree in mere minutes and ran down the darkened tunnel in what felt like seconds. I flung open the trapdoor and found Remus sitting on the floor. He was crying into his knees. I slowly walked toward him, wanting nothing more than to kiss all the tears away.

"Re-Remus?" I asked, shakily.

He looked up. His face was tired and etched with grief. This was the closest I had seen him in the longest time. He looked much older than seventeen. For a moment his face softened at the sight of me. It was soon covered up with anger.

"What do you want, Sirius?" Remus asked, not looking at me.

"I came here so I could apologize."

"And do you think a mere 'sorry' is going to change my feelings about you? Because if you do, you're mistaken." His voice was rising. "Did you ever consider my feelings? And all this time I thought I loved you! You're nothing but a traitor." He finished, his voice wavering.

But then I noticed his whole body was shuddering. The moon must have risen. The only thing I knew was that he couldn't transform. He just couldn't. Instead of becoming Padfoot, I ran to him. I flung my arms around his changing form, just as I had with James. His pupils had dilated and had turned yellow. But I still had time.

"Please, Remus. Don't give in." I begged. "There's so much more I have to tell you. So much more. It's me, Sirius. Surely you know me?"

His body continued to convulse. I was shaken violently but I clung onto him for dear life. He was still Remus. I was touching him for the first time in months and it was heaven.

"Come on, Remus. Fight it! Be yourself. The wolf is only a part of you. You're strong. You . . . you're strong." I ended off, my voice cutting out.

"Please . . . " I said again. "I love you so much. I never meant to hurt you. I....I never . . . "

Something was changing. His convulsions were slowing down. I stood back for a second. No . . . It couldn't be. But that's exactly what it appeared to be. He was shrinking back to his normal height. I slowly wrapped my arms around him again and looked into his eyes. They were green. All traces of yellow had disappeared into the pupil. He pulled back from the embrace.

"S-Sirius?" He asked, looking at me, his face incredulous.

"You . . . you're not a werewolf." I said stupidly. That fact was obvious.

"I heard you talking to me." He breathed.

And then he was in my arms again. But this time on his own will. I held onto him as if he was still changing.

"I'm sorry. So sorry." I spoke into his hair. "I'll do anything for you to just trust me again."

"We can work on it. We can work on anything. As long as I can be with you again." He said, his eyes shining up at me. "But what happened there?"

"I wanted you to come back to me so badly. It must have prevented the transformations." I said in wonder.

"I've missed you so much." He told me.

"I've missed you too. You don't even know how much."

And as impossible as it sounds Remus remained in human form for the rest of the night. We lay on the bed of the shrieking shack and talked the night through. I promised to never betray him again and he promised that he would try his best to trust me again. Things progressed and the intensity of the nights events led us to make love for the first time. We had never moved further than kissing and it was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. It was then that life truly felt amazing.

And now as I fly away on Buckbeak all these years later I mull over the memories. They're simply beautiful. My years in Azkaban had taken them away from me up until now and my stay in the Shrieking Shack had been too busy for thinking. I find that soaring through the night sky can only bring thoughts of one person. Remus Lupin. I will see him again. I'll make sure of it. And we'll solve our problems, just as we did that night.

I tried to get him to come back to me. If I had succeeded, my innocence could have been proven. But I guess we had been apart for too long. This time around is different. I don't need to beg for his trust. My innocence has already brought the most valuable gift back to me. His love. His life.

- **_The End _**


End file.
